In
1991, David Icke famously quit his job as a sports commentator with
the BBC to embark on a new career as a messiah. Faced with a lifetime
of being contractually obliged to feign boundless enthusiasm watching
people getting paid a lot more than me for running and jumping or
kicking and throwing things, I’d be down the nearest Job Centre
Plus, too, but I might trim my aspirations; I’d settle for a nice,
quiet benevolent dictatorship somewhere in the South Pacific, ideally
somewhere otherwise uninhabited.
He
told us that unidentified mediums had revealed to him a truth that
had, until then, remained elusive to mortal man; unbeknownst to us,
the world was ruled by descendants of pan-dimensional alien space
lizards who inhabit an underground realm that overlaps the boundaries
of this and many other dimensions. By dint of three invasions over
many millennia they utilised their shape-changing powers and bred
with humans.
Dave
still believes this and for only £3 a month, complete idiots can
subscribe to his internet newsletters to find out why. For the
avoidance of doubt and in the interests of legality, I must stress
that to the best of my knowledge David Icke is not and never has been
forcibly detained under the Mental Health Act and continues to
prosper, this latter detail being well worth pondering in these
austere times.
Dave
reckons these diabolical monsters have now successfully infiltrated
all our political, corporate and financial institutions in an
elaborate conspiracy through self-serving statute, media control and
mutual patronage. They appear human, but they can be recognised by
their beady eyes and lack of any trace of social conscience. They are
conspicuous in their insatiable greed and the lengths they will go to
to justify their demands and to ensure they are met. They get
everything they want, all the time, enslaving humanity so effectively
that we now know no other way and believe the lies of our reptilian
rulers.
By
the 21st
century, according to Dave, they have attained such a grip that they
form an omnipotent elite who set all terms of reference to the extent
that they pretty well define our reality. They control the flow of
all information and the vast bulk of the planet’s wealth. They can
make or break countries – usually the latter - if their interests
are even vaguely threatened.
If
needs be, they will start wars using weapons made by their own kind.
What say we have in our own destinies is enshrined in no more than a
sham democracy, giving us the illusion that we are in charge. They
have more power than any nation state and recognise no national
boundaries. They live amongst us, but are not of us. They can
influence us in any way they see fit and we are powerless and
seemingly unwilling to resist. Dave in his madness believes this has
happened.
I
have doubts about the alien body-snatchers and even more about David
Icke. It has always struck me as strange that while throughout
recorded history there have been many who have claimed to be saviours
of humanity, none has yet convincingly demonstrated his powers - I
think it’s fair to say that the present precariousness of our
planet doesn’t mark us out as having benefited from divine
intercession, let alone been saved, except as data on a global
network of computers involved in wholesale mass surveillance of
everybody and run by a handful of shady multinationals with more
clout than democratically elected governments in sovereign nation
states.
One
can see the attraction in all this for conspiracy theorists. However,
I’m less upbeat than the X-files fans and apocalypse freaks. They
have too much faith in their foes’ abilities. A decent conspiracy
requires organisation and planning. The bigger it is, the more
ingenuity and co-operation is required by the conspirators. The
political and economic chaos playing out in front of our increasingly
bewildered and incredulous eyes doesn’t strike me as being
organised in any way. This isn’t the work of an advanced life form
from another dimension.
Between
the start of the polling in the latest election in Greece and just
after lunchtime the next day, the markets suffered an outbreak of
collective neurosis and variously rallied, slumped, bounced back and
took fright in every financial centre around the world
simultaneously. An increasingly elaborate array of economic
indicators behaved like monkeys on dance drugs while we apparently
went through several economic cycles in 24 hours. Wealth was
disappearing and reappearing in Grand Cayman as if abducted by
aliens.
Even
our infinitely elastic political leaders are having a hard time
saying anything that isn’t flatly contradicted within 30 seconds of
broadcast. Nobody seems to have the faintest idea what’s going on
or what to do and every intervention simply compounds matters. Giant
lizards would probably make a better job of it
Today,
billionaires shamelessly gorge themselves while entire countries are
sentenced to penury. Our public services are being cut by unilateral
decree issued by an unelected, untouchable elite who hold the vast
bulk of humanity in utter contempt. Public servants have been
rebranded by tabloid imbeciles as “public sector workers”, i.e.,
a self-interest group living off the State, not as those who serve us
all and who pretty well define all we hold dear in civil society.
Bankrupted banks are still failing and still helping themselves to
eye-watering rewards. They tell us we are all in it together. Our
media, police and political worlds are being revealed to have
suffered systemic, institutionalised corruption for decades. We are
sitting here, taking it. And you think David Icke is crazy?
