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Sunday, February 20, 2011

The many colours of Labour

In the beginning, there was pure red in all its unmistakable primary glory. As the years passed, this just got redder. But the day came when it could no longer sustain, clashing horribly against the now true blue backdrop of post-industrial Britain. After a long and bitter battle led by a Welshman with orange hair spouting purple prose, the Guardians of the Colour were replaced with fresh faces.  Despite being completely green, these upstarts got back in and the party appeared to be in  the pink. 

Of course, this unsightly mix of colours became too garish and eventually blended to form a uniform brown. Brown went out of fashion fairly quickly. Now the party is out of vogue in both Westminster and Holyrood (where, during their two terms of office, a sprinkling of yellow had to be introduced.) 

Nobody was sure any more what colour they were, let alone what colour they should be. Compromise being unthinkable, they now spend their time rotating between calling black white and white black with such alarming speed that all the Scottish public can see is a dull Gray.

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